Ah, the joy of an ambulance ride! Two guys show up, cart you off, and the whole time you’re wondering, “What did I do to deserve this?”

During one of my ambulance rides I was fully convinced that I was already dead and this was one of the ways people were delivered to heaven, via the heavenly ambulance. You can imagine the crazy stuff that was coming out of my mouth. I was talking to the attendants like they were angels. I explained to them how I was so happy to be going to heaven. I was fully gone, essentially. But it’s okay, because these guys do this all the time and they’re used to it. So don’t worry about what you say, just relax and don’t fight anything. They’ve got everything under control.

In my opinion the best thing to do during the ride is to sleep. You’ve got twenty or thirty minutes on a nice comfy cot, so just relax and let the Z’s begin. At the moment all you have to do is kick back and be happy that you’re somewhere safe. Your mind has been putting you through a lot lately, so now’s the time for the relaxation to begin.

Once again, the main tip here is to relax. Don’t fight these guys and don’t be aggressive. Just be kind, chill out, and let them do their job. They’re in it to help you, just like everyone else during your hospital stay. You’ll be okay as long as you realize that. Too many patients want to fight it every step of the way, but my method is much more successful.

Relax, relax, relax! You will be back in the swing of it in no time, but for now, its healing time. Use it wisely.